It has been a long time since I have last blogged and I have missed it. I have thought about blogging often, but something (myself) has always gotten in the way. I made many excuses. I'll blog after the house is unpacked and set up, after the kids are settled into their new routines, after Lord Humbles wrist is healed, etc. But these were just excuses. The real reason that I had stopped blogging was shame.
You see, we had owned our own business in FL. We knew things weren't going well, but with a healthy dose of denial and stubbornness you fight like crazy to save it instead of moving on. Eventually, we had to move on. Tom took a sales job and was traveling a lot. We were planning on moving closer to his job and the gym, but his boss kept making comments about having too many sales people in the district.
Not wanting to be forced to move or being relocated to someplace that we didn't want to be, we got very proactive and found out that the company was hiring around the Seattle area. So, we moved. A month later, they laid Tom off and he didn't find a job until the start of the new year.
It was extremely stressful.
At first, you think that it is nothing. So what if I can't buy curtains for the room. I can wait. But then, you realize you can't buy Christmas gifts for the kids, or food, or pay rent, or any other bills. And your world starts to slowly cave in. There were many days that I felt like I was drowning like my head was barely staying above the water. We had to swallow our pride and start calling friends and family to just make rent. We had to get public assistance. It has been very humbling life experience. So, I hid. Instead of blogging and reaching out to my online friends for moral support, I hid and wallowed in my shame.
I am tired of wallowing. I am ready to play a different game. So, today I am taking the first step and starting to blog again!